If You Never Try,You'll Never Know
by cupcakesandlovefests
Summary: Loosely based off 5x02. How could fixing a sink lead to such an emotional time?


Booth was attempting to teach me some "handiwork". In other words Sweets had, well pretty easily, goaded me into bettering Booth by helping him to regain a skill he'd felt accomplished at before requiring brain surgery and slipping into a coma. If Booth knew the reason why I was favouring him he sure didn't let on, he thought I genuinely wanted to learn how to plumb. It's not that I'm lazy but I don't see the point in learning something I have no time to do and plenty of money to pay a professional to handle the situation. But still here I was favouring him letting him play teacher with me, for the first time in a very long time being a student. And we were actually having fun.

So there we were, the two of us lay out on the kitchen floor with our heads under the sink. Booth with book in hand, if it was anyone else I would not be trusting someone with a copy of "Plumbing for Dummies" but I trust Booth with my life so naturally, I trust him with this task. I actually learned a lot, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was pretty easy once I got used to all the terminology, and Booth cracking the odd "look who's the student now" line every time I asked a question. But he was smiling non stop, which makes me smile too. He really does have a perfect jaw. Even in his poor kitchen lighting.

Anyway. We'd gotten everything done and he'd let me pull my hand away to admire our joint effort. There was no drip, mission accomplished! That was, until it more than dripped it completely sprayed the both of us. I started ranting about my expensive watch as he leaned over to turn off the water. He looked at me and just started laughing uncontrollably.

"Hey it's not funny! You live here I have nothing with me and my shirt is clinging to me more than an infant" I exasperated, trying desperately not to laugh myself. But when I caught his eye I couldn't stop the giggle from escaping my lips.

"You actually sort of made a joke Bones, I'm proud of you" he smirked. "I've been known to possess a comedic talent, although in school it's to be said that people laughed at me rather than along with me" I admitted. He smiled sadly at my admittance, "they didn't know you Bones, not like I do"

He got to his feet and helped me to mine, he looked at me questionably. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" "I was, are you rushing off home or do you want to borrow some things and we could order Chinese?" he asked scratching the back of his neck absentmindedly. I felt a slight tingle as for some reason; I sensed a slight nervousness in him that I felt the need to settle. I nodded and offered an honest smile, "Chinese sounds good".

So that's how I came to be sat at 8pm that same night on Booth's couch wearing one of his old FBI t-shirts as we both tucked in heartily to some of our favourite takeaway. "Navy suits you Bones" Booth told me through a mouthful of food. "You know, some people would say that complimenting a woman would indicate that you think she's special" I answered as I tucked my legs under me feeling at ease in our surroundings.

"Bones, you know me. If I wanted to really compliment you I'd go all out, I wouldn't do it while you're wearing one of my old shirts. Although like I said the colour look's very nice on you, and I do think you're special you should know that" he replied wearing one of his oh so charming hearty smiles.

I couldn't help but smile back; the man had a way of making me react in ways I'd dismiss if it were anyone but him. "Well, thank you very much. You are special too and thank you for lending me your shirt it is very comfortable and smells vaguely of your old cologne" He tossed his chopsticks aside with his container and settled more into his seat, "I'm glad it meets your approval Bones"

"Yes, it does Booth. I can't normally distinguish smells so much outside of my lab but as we spend so much time together I know your scent very much like my own. You favour a musky scent while I favour a similar kind only naturally more feminine" I rambled, thinking about his scent often made me feel a little light headed and being sat in his shirt only played that up that little more.

He actually looked shocked, like he didn't know how to respond. I just folded my hands into my lap and waited. "Wow I uh, I'm speechless" he said smiling nervously. Okay I'd had it with the nervousness it was making me think something was wrong. "Booth is something wrong? It's just every now and again you look at me really nervously and it makes me think there's something you aren't sharing with me" I admitted looking him dead in the eye.

He sighed. "You and your powers of observation" he muttered before running a hand down his face. His behaviour was slightly un-nerving. "Booth whatever it is I can take it just please tell me? We're partners; we've seen each other practically every day for the past 5 years I can tell when you're acting differently with me. Is it to do with your brain, the coma?" I pushed gently.

Seeley Booth looked at me with an intensity I'd never before seen him possess, we'd shared many gazes but this was something different entirely. "I,I can't do this anymore Bones. Avoiding it, going on as if it's nothing" He wasn't making any sense. He picked up on this, naturally. "People are telling me that what I'm feeling is wrong, that my brain doesn't show something indicative of it. It's nothing to do with anything a brain doctor can tell me. I KNOW what I feel"

"What is wrong? What are they saying is wrong? Let me help, please" I said still confused at what was unfolding in front of me. Booth clenched his fist before reaching out and taking my hand. "This. This is what I'm being told is wrong. The spark that I feel between us, the ache when we touch some how. How you make me feel, how my heart is on overdrive around you.."

"Stop" I whispered feeling my throat getting drier by the second. "I love you" he said. I let go of his hand and felt my body go rigid. "You don't know what you're saying Booth, your coma dream has somehow clouded you"

I practically heard him grit his teeth. "Not you Bones, not you too. How can anyone tell me what I feel is wrong? I love you; I've loved you right from the beginning. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, I want this. You need to see it's worth the risk"

I shook my head and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "It's the dream; the dream has filled your head with all of this. We cannot sacrifice our careers. You don't love me Booth; I'm not to be loved. It's not something I..I can't return it; I don't have an open heart like you do"

"Temperance Brennan I starting falling for you as soon as we became partners. Hell even that disastrous first case together, even then I knew this was something special! Why can't you see that? Just try, please. For once just tell me what you're feeling, not what you're observing or what science has to say about all of this". "Please" he begged.

I stared down into my lap and allowed a tear to drop down my cheek. "The FBI won't be able to work with the Jeffer.." My rationale was interrupted by the sound of a fist being slammed on a table; suddenly I could feel Booth's presence right in front of me.

"Don't you dare start being so rational" he said calmly. He sighed before placing his hands either side of me. "If you feel nothing then leave, right now. But if you can't trust me then why the hell have we been partners for 5 years?" he whispered.

I tried to take everything in; we'd gone from botched plumbing to a declaration of love within no time at all. I felt sick to my stomach. Booth's had peeks at my vulnerable side but declaring feelings so openly, it wasn't something that I did easily. And if I felt I could be a completely cold hearted bitch I would've walked out of the door, but of course I couldn't do that. So I took a breath and decided to be as honest as I could, because it felt as if our lives depended on it.

"I. I don't do this Booth. It's really hard for me. I'm a woman of science and rationale, not a woman of heart and romance" "You say that Bones but I know your vocabulary and logic are just something you hide behind, what happened to no secrets huh? Take your time, just please, be honest with me"

As I was trying to hold myself together I heard the clink of glass on the table, I looked up and saw that Booth had fetched his good bottle of Whiskey. He poured us both a shot and we clinked glasses before I let the liquid invade my body filling me with warmth and stirring me on.

"So, you're right. I I do hide sometimes, I always try to be honest with you though. There's just times that I just can't, it's as if something cuts me off from reality with my rationale and reasoning or something just completely silences what I actually think, or or feel" I admitted as I twirled my glass in my hand.

"I was perfectly fine with how things were. I've never been a needy person, I've never felt the need to be with someone or have a family or any of those things. Then you came along and, well completely changed my life. For the better, without you I wouldn't have a relationship with my father or brother or ever of been able to let my mother rest in peace. But it hasn't been an easy adjustment; I seem to take longer than most people to heal, even though I hide it well. Apart from you obviously"

Booth smiled lightly, placing a hand to rest gently on my knee. Just letting me know that I was doing fine.

"Before you I didn't have a family, or love in my life. Before you Angela was merely someone I met and admired but never really required as a friend. Now she's like a sister to me. Before you I saw people in my lab merely as work colleagues, now we're friends and we're like a little family. Booth, I I don't know what to say. I don't know what you want me to say"

"Don't play dumb with me you're still the highest IQ in the room"

"I don't know how" I whispered. "Bones, life's short okay, possibly even shorter with us both being involved in the FBI. I had to tell you before it was too late, we've had too many near misses or actual incidents. We've both been beaten and shot at, both been buried alive, and we've both shed blood. Hell we've both even had stalkers. Now I'm not going to force it out of you, but I had to get it off my chest knowing that I could lose you at any point"

With his last word he returned to his seat, giving me a little space I suppose.

He was right. We could both be gone at any time, we solve murders. There's danger at most corners in our field. "I haven't walked away doesn't that say anything?"

"Of course it does, but it still doesn't tell me how you really feel. Dig into that big heart, Temperance"

He barely ever used my first name, he was very fond of his nickname for me, and I must admit I'd grown attached to it too. But on the rare occasion he used my name, I seemed to feel a slight shiver down my spine.

I took a deep breath and decided to throw myself in at the deep end; I'd get one shot at this. "You make me a better person, you make me smile til' my jaw aches. You've helped me grow; you've made me happy Booth. I can't imagine ever working with anyone else and I'd sooner quit than work with any other agent. You make my heart.., you, you reminded me that it is possible to..love"

"It's still not it Bones" Booth whispered painfully.

"When I thought you were dead I promised myself I wouldn't cry but I did, every second I was away from the lab and my facade I was crying until I fell asleep through exhaustion. When I found out you were alive I reacted angrily, because I was angry that you'd put me through that. Of course I understand, but now I understand that I reacted so strongly because I felt hurt and vulnerable. I took that woman's life without a single thought, I knew early on in our partnership that I'd kill for you but it had never been quite so easy before. When you were on the floor bleeding onto my skin, I wanted so desperately to, to blurt out that I loved you but I was already wondering how I'd go on without you" I finished as the tears flooded my eyes and cascaded down my cheeks.

Suddenly I felt two warm strong arms around me pulling me into his chest, I'd opened my heart completely but I still knew what he wanted to hear. I lay with my head on his chest letting my sobs dissipate as he stroked my hair. As I felt my heart beating more normally again I touched his arm pausing his movement, I sat up and looked directly into his eyes. And threw every bit of rationale I had out of the window.

I leaned in and ever so gently touched my lips to his, the contact instantly filled my heart with warmth and my stomach with happiness. I just went for it. I leapt right in as I knew we could never have this moment back again. I kissed him as if we were under the mistletoe again, but this time by choice. I wrapped my arms around his neck and allowed him to pull me closer, our movements were so in synch it was like we'd been doing it all our lives. How could I have ever doubted we were special?

Minutes passed and as I required a little air I pulled back and held one of his hands in mine. "I love you" I breathed. His face lit up and his eyes were glazed with happiness. I'd done it; I'd finally given him everything. "I should've said it sooner, but you know us squints we have to have all the evidence first" I smiled. He smiled back and placed a sweet peck to my cheek. "I love you Booth" "It's taken a long time for us to get here, but it's worth it. I love you too Bones. I love you too"


End file.
